But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
ok first of all what the fuck
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
