i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
