we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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