We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
