No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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