He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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