Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
