FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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