You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
