Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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