So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pants are for mortals
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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