Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
