For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
only if we run a train.
done.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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