but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
