Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
