Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
