My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
