your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
