so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize