turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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