Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
