We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
