quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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