What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
