That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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