I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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