Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize