Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
