I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
