I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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