It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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