No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
