Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
