I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
