Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
