Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
