For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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