I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
