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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when does round two start

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent

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• (909): View more from California

  Would you still love me if I had no teeth

  (1-909): View more from California

  Yeah why?

  (909): View more from California

  Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone

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• (650): View more from California

  I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

  (909): View more from California

  I'm scared to ask why.....

  (509): View more from Washington

  1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"

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• (585): View more from New York

  just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

  (716): View more from New York

  how?

  (585): View more from New York

  not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had

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