ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
