The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
