There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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