I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
