she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize