Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
