Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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