remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
