he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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