North Korea, Best Korea!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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