I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
