I bet he comes in French.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
