Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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