He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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