If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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