No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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