forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
