To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
