Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
