hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
