we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
