Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
