He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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