I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
