he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
