Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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