It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i think i just lost a toe
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
