Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
kristin has been a bad kristin
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
