i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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