I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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