That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize