I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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