Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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