Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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